Ask For Help

Society today places a huge emphasis on individuality, and independence. So many of us like to think they have the fortitude to do it all themselves, that our rugged independence will get them through whatever trial or tribulation they are confronted with.

The Stoics had a different idea. They believed in a concept called ‘Sympatheia’- that we are part of one interconnected, interdependent human community, and that it was each and every person’s duty to support their fellow humans. Marcus tells us to “Meditate often on the interconnectedness and mutual interdependence of all the things in the Universe.” 

To demonstrate this, let’s take my morning coffee as an example. For this coffee to get to me the beans were picked by someone, those beans were then transported to be processed, someone drove the beans to be packed into a shipping container, a whole crew sailed a ship all the way to New Zealand, it was unpacked and driven in a truck to my local supermarket, and finally it was stacked on a shelf by a staff member. My morning cuppa joe passed through so many hands to get to me and relied on many different variables. I didn’t even mentioned all the different people who would have played a part in building and manufacturing the ship and trucks involved.

None of our actions are truly individual actions- they all affect and are affected by whole. This cooperation and connection is the reason we have thrived so well as a species, yet so many people feel separate, disconnected and alone. They feel as though they can’t share the weight of their struggles with others lest their confidants buckle under that weight- but history has proven we are stronger together than alone.

Marcus says “Don’t be ashamed to need help. Like a soldier storming a wall, you have a mission to accomplish. And if you’ve been wounded and you need a comrade to pull you up? So what?” Exactly- so what? Asking for help is the strongest thing you could do, you’re not asking for a short-cut, you’re not dropping lip. We are all fighting our own battles, and if you get wounded, it’s okay for someone to tend to it. If you need advice, get advice. If you need a push, ask for a push. And if you need therapy absolutely get therapy. It is in the interest of your loved ones and your community that you reach out for help, we all have so much to offer the world but none of that can be achieved with an untreated wound.